“Count it Joy in Trials” is not a popular workshop title. We generally prefer to hear “How to Have Your Dreams,” “Low-Cost Family Joy,” or “Marriage Made Simple.” Choosing to be grateful is one thing; living a life of gratitude is entirely another. The price of our daily choices can make practicing gratitude difficult.
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.”
James 1:2-4 NKJV
As a homeschooling parent, I understand the struggle. The daily grind of worksheets and nagging over Math assignments while keeping up with the laundry can feel isolating, stressful, and downright harrowing. We have so much to do and only a little time each day. Yet, you keep striving to do better, to BE better! Why isn’t it working?
Practicing Gratitude is Hard Sometimes
Are you feeling a little like me? While I try to be grateful, the faucet is leaking, my toothbrush is in the toilet, and I have $20 until payday. I am waiting to “Spring Up a Well” of joy, but my less-than-satisfying circumstances are screaming in 4 K real-time.
In this season of gratitude practices and holiday goodwill, we tend to feel the weight of our struggle more deeply than the “joy” we should be feeling.
So, we create a gratitude prompt, start a thankfulness diary, and open our five-minute journal, but you feel so sad and alone. Are you putting on a happy face but missing out on the joy the scriptures promise you? I hope this gratitude message helps you step back and refocus on WHO you are grateful to.
Gratitude is the positive emotion felt after being the beneficiary of some gift. Gratitude is also a social emotion often directed towards a person.
– Webster’s Dictionary
We’ve been duped into believing we could practice gratitude on our own.
By definition, gratitude can not be felt outside of a relationship. When we express gratitude, we do so in a relationship with the one who has bestowed benefits upon us. We can only express gratitude by acknowledging the one who gives us good gifts.
The true amplifier of gratitude is found in relationships.
If this is true, then ingratitude is the act of withdrawing from a relationship. We practice gratitude best in our relationships. We have to speak the words, send the note, give the gift, and make the call. To feel family gratitude, you need to practice family gratitude actively.
Trust me when I tell you that I am preaching to myself.
Like you, I continue to learn, grow, and practice better habits every year. I’ve previously shared about the terrible cost of ingratitude. You can read the series here.
Practicing gratitude is about cultivating your relationships.
No wonder journaling in isolation does not bring us closer to gratitude. As a wife who has had seasons of ingratitude, the thought that practicing ingratitude is severing the closeness of my relationship with my spouse is alarming. Practicing ingratitude isn’t benign indifference; it is relationship-damaging, and even worse, I am the source.
What is the cost of being ungrateful?
Isn’t it too high when it can cost a relationship you value, the stability of your home, and the opportunity to glorify God in your home?
Practicing gratitude can bring peace and joy back to your home.
As a mother with kids who can be frustrating, the thought that developing our relationships can increase my gratitude brings me hope. Could making a simple effort to improve connection bring me a change of heart? You can help your child express kindness toward others so they can see the fruit of gratitude return to them.
Are you looking for some ideas to help grow gratitude for your child?
Help them with a chore, offer to clean their room, or watch a YouTube marathon with them to connect. Make room for opportunities to laugh and hug. Create space to step out of “work” mode each week. Getting stuck in School/Chore Mom mode is easy, but your kids need a relationship Mom, too.
Practicing Gratitude to God when Circumstances are Difficult
Psalm 103:1-5 says, “Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; Who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; Who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; So that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”
As a fallen member of mankind who knows that God has chosen to provide an avenue to a relationship with me through Christ, I am filled with renewed affection. My gratitude has an object in Him and the kindness He has directed toward me. To practice gratitude, look at Psalm 103:1-5. Read through the passage several times. Write down His actions toward you and grow in gratitude, one conversation at a time.
Free Gratitude Challenge
To help you out, I’ve created a simple 30 Day Gratitude Challenge Printable. Each person in your family should have their own printable. At dinner time or bedtime, let your kids write what they are thankful for that day. There is enough space on the printable to let your kids write what they are thankful for that day.
Amber Smith and her chef husband of 28 years raised ten wild children in southern Iowa. Her desire to help homeschool parents avoid burnout and build their best lives with strong relationships led her to start blogging at 200 Fingers & Toes.
