“In everything give thanks.” Most of us know that verse, but have you ever pondered it deeply and tried to apply it to your life? Or teach it to your kids?
One of the most counter-intuitive skills to learn and also teach our children is to be thankful even when life stinks (and even if your children struggle with full blown anxiety). This is a habit I’ve tried to ingrain into my children over the years, but it takes intentional effort and a plan.
Why We Should Teach our Children “In Everything Give Thanks”
When you teach your children to make a habit of thanking God and praising Him, even in those little frustrating circumstances of life, it’s hard for them to remain upset.
Not only that, but when you teach your children this skill, you are actually accomplishing God’s will. We don’t always know exactly what God wants us to do in every circumstance of life, but we do have some clear direction about His general will for us, and thanksgiving is something He clearly commands us all to do!
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you,” 1 Thess. 5:16-18
Some Common Struggles in Teaching Our Children “In Everything Give Thanks”
But it isn’t always easy to teach them to thank God for the bad circumstances. You know how it goes…
“Aw, do we really have to do our math lessons?”
“But I don’t want to empty the trash!”
“Why do I have to do all the work and he doesn’t have to do anything?”
How many of us hear the endless whining and complaining and struggle to hold back our exasperated, “Shut up!” rather than work on the heart change needed. (Come on, we all have those moments, don’t we?)
Because let’s face it… it’s hard.
It takes time, intentionality, and dedication.
But it’s not enough to simply stop doing something. That rarely works.
We must also learn how to replace the negative behavior with positive! It’s that biblical concept of “putting off and putting on.”
How to Teach Our Children “In Everything Give Thanks”
So, how do we do this?
I find that often the key to training our children to live out “in everything give thanks” is training ourselves first! We must develop the habits we wish to see in our children, then make a point to help them change their own behavior.
1. Learn to recognize when you are complaining.
We get into such a habit of complaining sometimes that we don’t even notice it! The first step to changing is recognizing that there is a problem. Make a point to mentally highlight (or even keep an actual log) of how many times in a day you complain, and the types of things you complain about.
2. Learn to repent of complaining.
Once you catch yourself complaining, learn to immediately confess and repent to God and those around you who are affected by your negative attitude.
3. Make a list of what you have complained about and some aspect(s) about that issue that you can be thankful for.
One thing I’ve noticed about the verse I quoted above is that it doesn’t say “for all things give thanks,” but rather “in all things.”
To use an extreme example, when my mother-in-law died a few years ago, I did not thank God for that. And I don’t think He expected me to. Death is ugly and a result of the curse.
But I did thank Him for her life and how she loved and faithfully followed Him and set such a good example for all of us. I thanked Him that she didn’t linger any longer and that she now knows true joy and can do all the things she always longed to do in this life!
This is the type of thanksgiving we need to teach our children: thanksgiving even when life stinks.
4. Teach your children these steps.
Once you have started the process yourself, you can teach your children, as well. Help them consider what aspects about the negative situation they can thank God for. Let’s go back to my example of the typical types of complaints we all hear in our homes…
“Aw, do we really have to do our math lessons?”
“Yes, but we are supposed to be thankful in all things. Aren’t you glad that you only have to do one, and that when you’re done you will have free time? Why don’t you stop and thank God for that?”
“But I don’t want to empty the trash!”
“Yes, but the Bible say to be thankful in all things. Aren’t you glad you glad we have a trash service and you don’t have to go outside and burn all of it? Think how much nicer that is and thank God for that!”
“Why do I have to do all the work and he doesn’t have to do anything?”
“Is that really true? You have more chores than your little brother because you are older, but aren’t you glad you also get to stay up later than him? Remember, ‘in everything give thanks…’ What else are you thankful for?”
Do you notice how we are repeating truth from God’s Word with every correction? It’s not really about changing the behavior; it’s about getting to the heart so the Holy Spirit can do the convicting and the behavior will change as a natural result!
As I said, it’s important that we work on ourselves first. We can’t get the speck out of our children’s eyes if we have a log in our own! (Matthew 7:3-5) And the really cool part is that often, when we make positive changes, our children will pick up on our behavior and start to emulate it.
What easier way to parent than to lead by example? Well, sort of. 😉 We have to do the hard work ourselves first, but when our children see the positive results in our own lives, it is internalized and much easier for them to follow our example.
But of course, we will never be perfect. We still have to parent, even in our own weakness. The key is to be open and vulnerable. Our kids will respect us far more if we correct in humility and honestly admit our own struggles in this area.
The Result of Learning “In Everything Give Thanks”
Who can really continue to complain while praising and thanking God? And if our praise invites the presence of the Holy Spirit, then whose presence are we inviting when we complain or allow our children to do it?
Learning and teaching this habit will change the atmosphere in our homes. There will be more joy, peace, and comradery in the family.
Another benefit is that we will find our prayers being answered more often. Think about it this way… When your child comes to you in a spirit of gratefulness, telling you genuinely how much he loves you and how thankful he is for all the nice things you do, don’t you want to give him more? Doesn’t that just put you in the mood to bless him?
This is how it is with God. He is our Father and when we come to Him as a child who is grateful, rather than focusing on our discontentment, He wants to answer our requests with a yes!
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus,” Phil. 4:6-7.
Be intentional about putting these steps into practice during this month where we focus on thanksgiving, and watch how God will change your home!
Free Gratitude Challenge
To help you out, I’ve created a simple 30 Day Gratitude Challenge Printable. Each person in your family should have their own printable. At dinner time or bedtime, let your kids write what they are thankful for that day. There is enough space on the printable to let your kids write what they are thankful for that day.
Danielle Papageorgiou has been homeschooling, or “lifeschooling,” for 21 years (she counts birth as day 1!) and has blogged, spoken, and run her own conference for many of those years. She has a passion for helping other homeschoolers learn how to homeschool in a way that does not compete with family life, but actually enhances it…homeschooling done in a spirit of freedom, not legalism.
Learn more about Danielle at her website Life as a Lifeschooler, join her private Facebook community, and follow her on both Facebook and Instagram
