Who Wins Your Arguments? {Marriage on Mondays}

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God has been teaching me who He is & my need to depend on the Holy Spirit. It hasn’t been easy, but I see growth.

Too often, the Holy Spirit is the silent person of the Trinity.  We pray to God the Father. We believe in Jesus Christ. What do we do with the Holy Spirit? In recent months, I’ve desperately needed to be walking in the Spirit.

As an example …

When Steve and I disagree, I need the Holy Spirit’s power to keep my mouth closed. To not argue with my husband. To be respectful of his wishes. To not nag my husband until he agrees with my side. Those are my weaknesses & it is only the Holy Spirit who helps my weaknesses.

And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26

Instead of arguing, I need to pray in that situation, for God’s Will to be done.  And yet, I need more! I need the Holy Spirit praying for me. The only way I can do those things is in the power of the Holy Spirit.

stories about walking in the spirit (Marriage on Mondays) from HowToHomeschoolMyChild.com

In my flesh, I want to “win” the disagreement. I want Steve to change his mind and see things exactly like I do. Yet, I may not be right.  It’s hard to admit I’m wrong because I’m a very proud person. I believe  I can do things in my own strength. I believe my opinion is the right opinion.

Do you ever feel like this?
Do you want to “win” the argument or disagreement?
Do you want to be right?

I sure do. I want to be right all the time …. just ask my hubby.

As wives, we are called to be respectful of our own husbands. The only way we can do this is by turning to the Holy Spirit. Asking for His power, even when we don’t realize we need it. Trusting the Holy Spirit to pray for me to be respectful.

It sounds so easy, but it is difficult.

Another situation I’ve seen myself live in the flesh is in the area of nagging.  Last week, I was walking & praying. I’d been praying regularly for the Holy Spirit to empower me. Praying that I would keep my mouth closed about a circumstance where Steve & I disagreed.

God, please help me keep my mouth closed. Help me live in the power of the Holy Spirit. Help me abide in you so I am respectful of Steve and let God work His will in this situation.

My Words

Unfortunately that very night, I opened my big, fat mouth and tried to win Steve over to my side of the situation. I was living in my strength, instead of God’s. Living in the flesh means I often say something without thinking or realizing what I’ve said. Ouch!

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14

God’s been teaching me this verse for 40 years.  When I was in Colorado with my high school youth group, I shared this verse at church. It was the verse God showed me because I struggle with my words.  I struggled with my words then. Forty years later, I struggle with my words.

I’ve known “about” the Holy Spirit since I was a child, but I am just now  learning to know who He is.  Turning to Him on a daily basis to give me His strength, His words, His prayer, His power to be acceptable in God’s sight.

Abiding in Christ

A few weeks ago, we had a sermon about abiding as described in John 15. As I listened in church about abiding, I kept thinking about the previous chapter where Jesus is leaving the Holy Spirit as our Helper – to teach us and bring to remembrance what Jesus said.

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. John 14:26

Jesus gives believers the Holy Spirit to help us abide in the vine. He is the only way we can abide & bear fruit.

Apart from me, you can do nothing. John 15:5

Inspiring book about the Holy SpiritSince that sermon, I’ve added to my prayer request that I would abide in Him…through the power of the Holy Spirit.  How do we do that?

Through humble, active reliance on God! I must be humble (yep, swallow my pride in those disagreements with Steve). I must actively rely on God.

In my morning prayers I now beg God to help me abide & live in the Holy Spirit. Yet, throughout the day I must actively depend on God.

I highly recommend Spirit Rising, by Jim Cymbala. We have hundreds of books about Jesus & the Father and relatively few about the Holy Spirit. Jim Cymbala puts the fire in my heart to live in the power of the Spirit. He uses Scripture and real life stories about the Spirit’s work in believers.


.Question: Who wins your arguments? How do you abide in Christ? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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  1. Thank you for your comments as I too need the Holy Spirit daily in my prayers. I too struggle with words and arguments with my husband and needed this article this morning!! Thank you again as I begin my day with reading your post!!

    1. You’re so welcome. I appreciate your honest comment and glad God used these thoughts in your life.

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