Mentorship & Mentoring Tips

Last month I attended an intense workshop about Mentoring the Next Generation. Mentorship has been on my heart for the past several years.

I remember when I was a young mom with kids running around the house, a mess everywhere & wondering what was for dinner. I wanted an older woman who might come alongside me to encourage me during this season of life.

Can you relate?

When I was in college, my mom told me about the young moms in her church that were constantly talking about changing diapers. The never-ending diapers. She told them it was a season of life & it would not last forever. Her words stayed with me. But, not everyone has a mom who will encourage you. Not everyone has a mom who will understand your circumstances.

Thus, mentoring younger women.

… the older women … admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5

I am so grateful that I attended this workshop. It opened my eyes to the huge need for older women to be friends with younger women. We no longer live in community with our mom, grandmas, aunts and others who help when necessary. We are a society divided & concerned about ourselves. Even older women say, “I don’t have the time” or “I’m done with kids & want to spend time on myself”.

So, how can mentoring work?

When I was young, I tried the “put your name in a hat” and get matched with an older woman. It didn’t work. Nor, did it work to adopt a college student by signing up.

Many years ago, I quit going to most of the programs at church. They were more program than relationships. I began to pray that our church leaders would model relationships because that’s one of Christ’s major focuses on earth. I’m still praying for their example.

For several years, I met with a young mom once a week. My kids babysat her kids. We spent time discussing the Bible, praying & chatting about life. Both of those young moms are now on the mission field. I had no idea the way God would eventually use our time together. I still pray for those moms & their families as they share the Gospel across the pond.

I see such a great need for mentors, and few older women stepping up to the task. So, here’s what I’m doing here at home. (I think it blends well with the workshop ideas from Mentoring the Next Generation)

Last fall, several older women joined together for Apples of Gold. We didn’t really know how it would work, but wanted at least 6 older women to teach a cooking class & lead one Bible study during our 6 week study.

A friend of mine asked some young moms to join us for a Bible study. Most of the young moms had no idea what we were doing, but they wanted to spend more time with my friend, Rebecca.

Each week, we had a Bible study on topics such as kindness, purity, loving your husband/children, submission & hospitality. Next, we had a cooking class by the host and concluded with lunch together.

We didn’t really know each other, but in 6 weeks we all grew to love each other. At the end of our time, we didn’t want it to end. So, we are continuing in a group mentoring relationship. We are meeting once a month to continue our time together and build stronger relationships between older & younger women.

Each month, we choose a homemaking topic for the upcoming month. Someone volunteers to teach that topic & another will lead a devotion. We end our time by eating lunch together. There is truly something spiritual about breaking bread together.

Next year, we plan to start with new young moms in the fall & continue meeting once a month with our “grads”.

5 Mentoring Tips I Learned

For our workshop, we were asked to read Organic Mentoring. I came away with lots of takeaways in developing organic relationships with younger women, but here are the top ones:

1. Coffee, Coffee & More Coffee
Almost all of the younger women at the workshop mentioned having coffee together, just to get to know each other.

2. We’re All Busy
Older women & younger women are busy, so don’t expect much mentoring in a 12 week Bible study or “program”. Younger women want relationships (with women & God), but in an unscheduled & unprogrammed way.

3. What Works for Me, might not Work for You
Hey, it’s organic!

The Bible study / cooking class works for us because we have 6 older women who love to cook & love to have people in their home. They want to pass along their love for Christ & their love for others to younger women. Something else might work for you.

4. Relationships are More Important than Stuff
Those younger women were desperate for mentors. They even said they were desperate for mentors, even though they had wonderful, godly moms. They want meaningful relationships that can help them through the trials of life. Don’t worry about how clean your home is or what clothes you are wearing.

5. Reach out to Older Women
I attended this workshop, thinking I would learn some strategies to use as I mentor younger moms. By the end of the workshop, God was calling me to ALSO reach out to my peers. Older moms need to realize the importance of Titus 2. We are called to teach younger women to love their husbands and much more.

If you’re a younger woman seeking a mentor, watch some of the older women in your life.  Take a deep breath & ask them for coffee.  It’s scary to ask someone you respect for coffee, but it’s a simple way to start a relationship.

Have you ever been in a mentorship relationship?
If so, how did it work?
If not, what would you want from a mentoring relationship?

I’ve toyed with the idea of an online mentorship group. I know face-to-face is best, but not always possible. I’d really appreciate your feedback on mentoring. Leave a comment below.

NOTE:.

.Question: Have you ever been in a mentorship relationship? If so, how did it work? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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