When your kids are growing up, you are mentoring them in all areas of life. Sometimes they listen to you. Sometimes they don’t. What should we do when they grow up?
I think we often overlook the mentoring relationship with our daughters, especially after they are grown. We’re looking for young moms to mentor…or we’re looking for older women to mentor us.
After my girls moved out of our home, they still lived in town. To stay connected, we ate breakfast at Denny’s every week for 3 years. The Denny’s waitresses knew us by name & knew what we like to order.
At first, I wanted to read a book during the week & discuss it at breakfast. Right before we started our weekly breakfasts, Steve told me they would rather just get together and talk. So, that’s what we did. Sometimes I had to ask lots of questions…they aren’t morning people. Other times, I sat & listened.
Gentry now lives in Houston and calls regularly. We talk about a wide variety of topics. Ashley teaches out of town, so we usually visit on Sunday afternoons…after lunch together.
I learned a lot through these weekly visits. Most of all, I learned to be available. Available when they wanted to talk. Available when they wanted advice. Available when they need to unload.
As our daughters become young women, we need to give them freedom to follow God’s direction. As they need advice or help, we should be available.
What I found encouraging at our Saturday meetup is what Susan shared. She talked about mentoring her daughter & daughter-in-laws. She keeps the channels of communication open. She is able to visit them regularly, too. Mostly, she is available when they need advice.
I believe the mother-daughter relationship is extremely important. The mother – daughter relationship continues forever. You are still the mom and they are still the daughter. But, you become a friend, an advisor, and encourager.
Although God created moms to mentor their daughters, I think it is important that our daughters have other older women in their lives.
I am so thankful for Sara, who mentors Ashley. No, they don’t get together for coffee or visits. Sara & her husband are one of the mentor couples in Ashley’s Sunday School class. They also lead a weekly Bible study for Ashley & Jesse. Sara has been available for Ashley to unload on her, especially about work. What I like about this situation is Sara reinforces the values & truths that we taught Ashley growing up.
Yes, I am still in Ashley’s life. But, having another mentor with similar values has been terrific.
How can you mentor your grown-up daughters? Here are a few ideas . . .
- Phone calls
- Text messages
- Weekly meals
- Greeting cards
- Monthly lunch – meet in the middle if you aren’t close
- Take turns meeting at each other’s home
- Drive to your daughter’s home & babysit – You’ll get to chat before or afterwards
- Coffee dates…or wine if you like it
Should you have a lesson prepared? NO…just be available during those times.
Question: How do you mentor your daughters You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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