{ Marriage Advice on Mondays } Wives . . . do they affect their husbands?

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Wives have a huge impact on their husbands . . . for good or bad!

We see this vividly in 2 Chronicles 21.  Chapters before Chronicles 21 tell stories of Jehoshaphat and Asa, kings of Israel.  Both the kings & the nation of Judah followed God at that time.  When Jehoshaphat dies, his son, Jehoram, takes the throne and kills all of his brothers.

What happened?

marriage-advice-jehoram-ahabJehoram was raised by a man of God, one who led Judah in the ways of the Lord.

As I read further, I discover that Jehoram married Ahab’s daughter.

He walked in the way of the kings of Israel, just as the house of Ahab had done, for he had the daughter of Ahab as a wife.  2 Chronicles 21:6

Ahab walked according to the kings of Israel…not following God but living for himself.  Ahab’s daughter (Jehoram’s wife) influenced Jehoram to turn from his upbringing and live to please himself.

As I read this short story, I see 2 ways it impacts my life (& hopefully yours) with a little marriage advice

1.  First, as we look to ourselves as wives.

What type of impact do you have on your husband?

Positive or Negative?

Godly or Ungodly?

Patient or Impatient?

The list can go on & on.  You have an impact on your husband, just like I do.  I want to strive to encourage Steve as he endeavors to follow the Lord, lead our family and impact the world for Jesus Christ.

Marriage advice for me is to keep our home in some sort of order so Steve can enjoy our time together as a family.  I don’t need to put pressure on him to do “my job” as a homeschool mom or as a housewife when he gets finished with work.

marriage-advice-decisionsI also need to wholeheartedly support his decisions about our family & ministry, even if I don’t agree.  We usually talk about the direction we are going, but he is ultimately responsible to God.  To be honest, we don’t have many differing opinions about decisions. But when we do differ, I respectfully submit to his decision.

2.  Next we look to our children as they choose their spouse.

As my children choose spouses, we need to encourage them to go beyond simply being a believer and choose wisely in all areas of life.  We’ve discussed with our girls the importance of looking a young man’s overall values.

Do they value family and work ethic?

What type of character do they have?

How will they raise their children?

You may not agree on every issue of life with your future in-law children.   We don’t.  But, we do see a loving spouse, whose life perspective is similar to ours and who wants to follow the Lord as they grows in marriage.

Back to Jehoram . . .

In conclusion, we learn that God curses Jehoram and his household.  Jehoram’s intestines will come out by reason of his sickness.  God doesn’t put up with those who “play the harlot”; those who do not follow Him.

And his people made no burning for him, like the burning for his fathers. . . to no one’s sorrow departed.  However they buried him in the City of David, but not in the tombs of the kings.  2 Chronicles 21:20

Jehoram acted cruelly and was greatly influenced by his wife.  Jehoram receives what he deserves – no pity from his people and no glory from God.

As a wife & mother, I desire to support and encourage my husband in godly endeavors, both within my family and outside my family.  I also desire my children to marry godly spouses so they may encourage each other as they follow God’s leading.

How to respect your husband If you need some ideas on how to encourage & respect your husband, I highly recommend 25 Ways to Communicate Respect to Your Husband.

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