Complaining . . . How to Not Complain!

how to simplify your homeschool

One of my biggest faults is complaining. If you’ve been on this blog before, you may have read about struggling with my mouth or being positive or how to interrupt complaining. I’ve written a lot about my struggles with complaining.

I’ve tried over & over to quit complaining, but it creeps back in when I’m not paying attention. Why did I mess up again?

I long to figure out how to not complain . . .

how to not complain from

Recently, I’ve dealt with complaining in my marriage. I’m realizing how complaining affects my marriage.  Even though I’m not upset with Steve, he interprets it as me being unhappy with him so I must quit complaining.

  • complaining at a restaurant because they won’t take our coupon
  • complaining about a dance class that won’t let us dance for 30 more minutes
  • complaining about the songs at church
  • complaining about a vendor
  • complaining about the direction of church

Sometimes I don’t see it as complaining; I see it as simply being upset. But it’s negativity in the biggest sense.  That means I’m sinning against God with my words.

I need to only speak & think positive thoughts. Thoughts that encourage those around me and not drain my loved ones.

But how?

I certainly can NOT do this on my own.

A few weeks ago on my morning walk, I reflected on an argument I had. As I prayed, I confessed my complaining. I told God that I could only change with His help. He (God) is the only one who can overcome my complaining.  I asked the Holy Spirit to live in & through me.  I was conscious of my words & tried not to say much that day.

Fast Forward

A couple days later at church, I was struggling with my negative thoughts (again). During the singing portion of our service, I prayed for God to get rid of my negative thoughts. I listened to the songs and how they sang one of my favorite hymns – It Is Well with My Soul – with bridges of current phrases in between the hymn’s verses. I had the hardest time following the meaning of the hymn & truly praising God.

I turned to God immediately because I wanted to be in fellowship.  I felt God taking away some of my negative thoughts during the message, but I still struggled and confessed throughout the message.

Why do I have a Critical Mind?

God made me the way I am, including a critical mind. In some ways that’s good – the ability to discern good & bad, how to run a business, and so forth.

In other ways it’s bad – being critical of family, friends, others around me. There’s no reason to be critical of others. We’re all made in the image of God with our own strengths & weaknesses.

God, please help me to stay positive, free of complaining. I’m claiming these verses right now & believe with all my heart that You will free me from complaining.

how to not complain ~ from

for it is (You) God who works in (me) you both to will and to do for (Your) His good pleasure.  Philippians 2:13

(I need to) Do ALL things without complaining and disputing (with the power of the Holy Spirit)  Philippians 2:14

Why do I Share This?

Sometimes it appears that bloggers have it altogether; everything is perfect in their lives. Nothing is further from the truth.

Bloggers don’t show their problems or failures.
Bloggers only show what works.

As a blogger, I struggle with staying positive and not complaining. God commands me to “do everything without complaining or grumbling”

But only in His Holy Spirit is that possible.

 How about you?

How do you overcome complaining?
How do you overcome your weakness?
How do you keep complaining out of your marriage?
How do you keep complaining out of your family?

How to respect your husband If you need other ideas on how to respect your husband, try 25 Ways to Communicate Respect to Your Husband by Jennifer Flanders.

Do you struggle with complaining? How do you not complain?You can leave a comment by clicking here.

how to simplify your homeschool
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  1. I too have a critical mind and find it a blessing and a curse. For me, as a teacher, I can quickly criticize everything- my students, my lessons, the leadership and decisions made, etc. I find that fixating on the good in something helps me automatically change my perspective on the situation. This also helps in finding what I am thankful in that moment or that day.

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