How to Be a Good Mother with 4 Tips Reduce Overwhelm

Are you overwhelmed trying to be a good mom? Or, exhausted from ALL. THE. THINGS.? You know what I’m talking about. I get tired just seeing all the things moms are doing these days. So, let’s talk about how to be a good mother.

Let’s look at 4 practical tips on how to be a good mother. Plus, you can get a free printable to help you gain peace at home and enter to win one of FOUR $100 gift cards. Pretty cool!

Tip #1: Routines

I used simple routines so my kids knew what was expected of them. These included a regular wake-up time, meal times, bedtime, and so forth. For example, we had a regular bedtime routine so they were in bed by 8:00 pm each night.

• Brush your teeth.
• Put on pj’s.
• Read a book with Dad or Mom.
• Pray.
• Get in bed.
• Go to sleep, hopefully!

Our kids knew what was expected. Do your kids know what is expected? Or, does it change from day-to-day? Routines give your kids security and assurance of what is expected.

Routines also reduce stress & overwhelm for both moms and kids. When you have a routine, you don’t need to “think” about what happens next. Nor, do you have to tell your kids what to do. They know what is expected when they wake up, when they start homeschooling each day, after lunch or any time of day when you have a routine.

It always surprised Steve & me when we called a friend at 9:30 pm and their kids were still up. We wondered what kind of routine that family had. When did they have alone time?

As I look at my daughters’ families, they are following the same routine. Maybe not the exact same time, but they put their kids to bed and have time together in the evening.

Did I tell Ashley & Gentry their kids need a bedtime so they can have time with their husbands? NO!

We modeled a bedtime routine, along with other routines. Our kids are following that model as parents, themselves.

You are modeling something to your kids as a mom.

What are you modeling?

Having said that, my hope is to encourage you, not discourage you. I was not a perfect mom. I yelled at my kids (for shame!) and punished the wrong ones at times. But I kept moving forward and growing together, striving to model ways to do the right thing and reduce stress & overwhelm.

You’re in the trenches. Keep going to God and He will show you the routine for your family. He will show you how to model doing the right thing.

Tip #2: Rest

When I asked a group of moms how to reduce or stop being overwhelmed, I received a response similar to the one below, over and over.

I understand the issue because I lived it.  We have a 10 year daughter, 8 year old daughter, 6 year old son and our first reversal baby, 6 mo old son (thank you Jesus!)  

Out of that overwhelmed feeling was born the 1 hour rest time.  

They don’t have to sleep but they do have to do something quietly on their bed for one hour right after lunch time.  I use that time to either sleep or read to unwind and get refreshed.  Praying this mom can be refreshed soon! 

~ J.

Kids need rest time and moms do, too. My kids had a quiet time after lunch almost every afternoon. If not for them, for me. Just like you, mom, I needed rest time to refresh and be ready for the remainder of the day.

Sometimes I took a power nap for 10-15 minutes. Any longer and I’d have that groggy feeling the rest of the day. A short nap revitalized me and helped keep my attitude right. I was kinder and more patient when I was rested. I was also able to take care of tasks by myself.

If you start an afternoon rest time, do NOT get on social media. Facebook or Instagram will eat away your time and you will be more drained than before the rest time.

Use your one-hour to refresh yourself, read, enjoy a cup of coffee, sew, craft, clean a bathroom or mop the kitchen floor. Okay! Cleaning the bathroom or kitchen floor may not refresh me, but I feel much better with a clean home. Often, I mopped the kitchen floor at the beginning of rest time, leaving time for me to sew or read.

Tip #3: Relax

Really?

You’re wondering how in the world can you relax as you juggle ALL. THE. THINGS.

First of all, you might need to get rid of all the things. Your kids want YOU, not all the things.

Next …

Do you give yourself grace?
Do you give your kids grace?

We all make mistakes, so offer grace, especially to yourself. Don’t wallow in your mistakes. Relax. Move forward in God’s grace & His courage.

Finally …

Are you comparing yourself to others? Are you checking Facebook or Instagram every day? Are you comparing your “ordinary life” to someone else’s highlight reel?

I haven’t seen a photo on social media of bed-dead hair, waking up with no make-up. What I see is the perfect picture of their family. You and I don’t see the argument right before they took the “perfect” picture.

Relax and quit comparing yourself.

God made you exactly as you are. He gave you the best kids possible. Your kids are NOT a burden. They are a gift from God, a blessing for you to steward, as my oldest daughter, Ashley, says. I agree.

Relax and take it one day at a time. Check out a few ideas to encourage you on how to be a good mother in my “Quit Comparing” video. Discover how to reduce stress & overwhelm, also.

Be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.

Hebrews 13:5 NLT

I mentioned a list of truths to help you stop comparing. Here are a few words for women from Life Church that can help you on how to be a good mom.

• I am the daughter of the King of all kings.
• Because of Jesus, I lack nothing.
• God has given me everything I need to do what He’s called me to do.
• I speak encouraging, life-giving words and build others up.
• The joy of the Lord is my strength. (Nehemiah 8:10)
• I will not compare myself to other women. God made us all beautifully unique.
• I will hold myself to God’s standards and measure myself with grace.
• I will love and laugh rather than fight and complain.
• I refuse to waste my life on meaningless things.
• I will act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with my God. (Micah 6:8)
• Through Christ I am strong, gentle, fierce, and compassionate.
• I will fight the good fight for what matters most. (2 Timothy 4:7)

Tip #4: Relationships

Building relationships is the most important tip on how to be a good mother. Let’s face it. You will never teach your children every single thing they need to know as an adult.

Sooner or later, they will be on their own. At that time, it’s your relationship that matters, not the academics. Your kids won’t remember if you taught them the Pythagorean Theorem or anatomy of the human body.

What will last over the years is the relationship you have with them.

I thank God regularly, that I have a good relationship with all three of my adult kids. We laugh. We cry. We even disagree with each other. But at the end of the day, we all love each other.

How can you build relationships with your kid?

I’m reminded of Susanna Wesley, who had 19 kids. Ten survived infancy. She spent individual time with each of her 10 children, every week. Plyus, she lived in the early 1700’s, without all the conveniences we have today.

Her husband was sent to jail twice for financial problems. Her home burned down twice. She did not have an easy life. Even with all of the pressure to raise her kids on her own, Susanna knew the importance of one-on-one time with each child. For this reason, she set a rotating schedule to spend an hour alone with one child before bedtime, on a designated night each week.

Wow! Susanna is a testimony on how to be a good mother.

As she spent time with each of her kids, she built relationships and shared her faith in Jesus. Two of her sons, Charles Wesley & John Wesley, grew up to start the Methodist denomination.

How did Susanna Wesley do it with such a hard life as a mother? With 10 kids!

How can you do it?

Susanna had a strong relationship with God. It is said that Susanna would sit in her rocker with an apron over her head, while the children read, studied or played around her.

What in the world? An apron over her head?

The apron over her head signaled to the children that mom was praying. Almost two hours every day, Susanna spent praying. She couldn’t leave her kids with Grandma. She didn’t have a place in her home to be by herself. So she prayed in her rocker, right in front of her kids.

She modeled praying to God, right in front of her kids.

I believe her prayer life strengthened her with the number one way to be the best mother she could be, raising 10 children practically on her own & giving them a strong foundation in faith. The strong mother-child relationship is seen when you read Susanna’s letters to and from her adult children.

I’m not saying you must sit and pray for 2 hours each day. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Give yourself grace.

What I am saying is your prayers ARE making an enduring & lasting impact on your kids, even if you don’t see it in the present. God never stops working. He is faithful.

Start with 5 or 10 minutes a day in prayer and Bible reading. From there, build your muscles of prayer & Bible reading. You’ll be glad you did.

How to be a Good Mother
by Spending Time with your Kids Individually…

1. Schedule time each week to meet with each child by themselves. If you homeschool, it can be any time of day. If you don’t homeschool, rotate afternoons, one afternoon for each child. Just 15 minutes can make a world of difference. You might help them with their school work, but also ask how they are. Praise them for making a soccer goal.
2. Schedule dates with Dad. I know that’s not part of how to be a good mother, but Dad has a great influence on your kids. Steve started taking our girls on dates when they were 3 and 5 years old. Hunter joined in the fun once he was 3 years old. Get some fun Daddy-Daughter Date Ideas here.
3. Take your kids out on to lunch, just with Mom 2-3 times a year. Not sure how to make this work? Schedule it for Saturdays when Dad is home. My mom took us out for Back to School Lunch almost every year I can remember. I followed her example, her modeling. My lunch dates with mom were half-century ago. But, I have fond memories of being with my mom. That’s called long-term relationship building.

Joy Scripture Cards – FREE Printable

To help you gain joy & peace in your family and home, I have a prayer ebook, Joy Scripture Cards, just for you. Prayer is so vital to moms, so I’m making this free for you. Just enter your name & email below. We’ll zip it over to you so you can start using it today.

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