5 Simple Ways Wives Respect Your Husbands {Marriage on Mondays}

This semester I’m part of a great group of ladies who are hosting an Apples of Gold Bible study. We have 5 “seasoned” ladies (yep, I’m part of the older group) & 9 younger moms. It’s been a blast, so far!

Last week our Bible study was about wives respecting their husbands. I’ve written about how to respect your husband in the past, but today I want to share 5 simple ways wives respect your husbands .

Why respect?

let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33

God calls you & me to respect our husbands, so let’s get going on how we can show respect.

1. Don’t Roll Your Eyes

I’m speaking more to myself than anyone else.

When our kids were young, Steve told me I rolled my eyes as we talked. I responded that I don’t roll my eyes. It took one of my kids to show me how wrong I was.

A week later, I asked Ashley to do something and she rolled her eyes at me. WOW! Where else did she learn to roll her eyes, than from her own mom . . .

I was so convicted that I had to apologize to Steve. Rolling your eyes shows total disrespect, the complete opposite of what I want to show Steve.

You may not roll your eyes, but you may do something else that shows disrespect. Watch your body language to see how you might disrespect your husband.

2. You Don’t Need to Win

I’m a competitor & want to win! Just ask my family.

I want to win, even in arguments.

About 10 years ago, I heard a speaker say that part of being submissive & showing respect is by not winning every argument. You may even be right, but it isn’t worth your marriage to win every argument. All that does is tear down your husband & your marriage.

You may be saying, “But my husband just doesn’t understand the situation or know what’s best.” Maybe he doesn’t know what’s best, but he is the leader of your home. You may have to go through some trials as God shows your husband how to lead your family well.

Your job isn’t to show your husband that he is wrong, but to support him & be his helper. Sometimes, that means we keep our mouth quiet & not win an argument.

(Again…speaking to myself as much as anyone)

3. Be Presentable

When your husband gets home from work, he wants solace. He wants to unwind; not walk into the lion’s den. My suggestion is to be presentable in 2 ways: yourself & your home.

Make YOU presentable

Freshen up a little before he gets home. My mom taught me this by example. You can read our story about how to respect your husband here. You don’t need to dress up as if you’re going to a red carpet event. Simply brush your hair & clean up a bit. I usually change from my bathrobe to nice shorts or jeans (depending on the season).

Make Your Home presentable

Next, freshen up your home. When your kids are home & your homeschooling, things can get messy. Steve did not want to come home to toys or crafts all over the living room. I bought a large basket and placed it in the living room. Each afternoon around 5pm, the kids picked up the living room. Then, I let them play outside or watch a movie (to keep it clean).

More than anything, Steve wanted things tidied up. What an easy way for me to show respect – a basket & 5-10 minutes of clean up.

4. Respect Letter

Most of the time, we (wives) want to write a love letter because that’s what we want from our hubbies. We yearn for love, but our husbands yearn for respect. In the book, Fruit of Her Hands, Nancy Wilson describes a respect letter.

In writing a respect letter, I’m forced to think about Steve & reasons I truly respect him.

Hey, I’m off to write another respect letter right now . . . Now, I’m back.

What do I include in a respect letter?

This time, I wrote about 2 things Steve does for which I respect him. It was simple & took less than 5 minutes to write. I mailed it to him, so he ought to receive it this week.

When Steve turned 50, I wrote 50 reasons I love you. Thinking back, it would have been better to write 50 reasons I respect him. Many of the items I included are reasons I respect him, but it would have been nice to phrase it in a way that turns him on.

I’ve also heard of wives leaving a respect letter in their husband’s suitcase. When they get to the hotel, they find the letter. I’ve thought about putting one in Steve’s backpack, so he finds it when he’s working at a coffee shop.

SIDE NOTE: I had my daughters write their dad a letter of respect. This is a great homeschool writing activity & can set a precedent for their future marriage.

5. “I’m proud of you because . . .”

My parents gave us a series on marriage about 15 years ago. The one idea that stuck with me from those talks is the phrase, “I’m proud of you because”. At the time, it seemed foreign to me. It seemed natural to say it to my kids, but not my husband. I had to practice saying it, for it to sound natural.

When I was writing my respect letter a few minutes ago, I naturally included a phrase of why I’m so proud of Steve. I want to be Steve’s #1 cheerleader, taking the lead of his fan club.

Don’t you want to lead your hubby’s fan club & show how wives respect their husbands? If you do, you’ll show him respect & change your marriage.

Just to sum up 5 simple ways wives respect your husbands . . .